"...and now, the skills of the webmaster and the talents of the censor won't let us relive Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln."



I got a little curious about what can and cannot be said in Disney's online Virtual Magic Kingdom. So I went to the virtual town square, stood beside the virtual cannon and under the virtual American flag, and attempted to type in the script from the Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln show, which, at the non-virtual Disneyland, was pretty near that spot. The words in red were censored.

The world has never had a good definition of the word liberty and the American people, just now, are much in want of one. We all declare for liberty; but in using the same word we do not all mean the same thing.

What constitutes the bulwark of our liberty and independence? It is not our frowning battlements, our bristling seacoasts. These are not our reliance against tyranny. Our reliance is in the love of liberty that God has planted in our bosums. Our defense is in the preservation of the spirit which prizes liberty as the heritage of all men, in all lands, everywhere. Destroy this spirit, and you have planted the seeds of despotism around your own doors.

At what point shall we expect the approach of danger? By what means shall we fortify against it? Shall we expect some trans-Atlantic military giant to step the ocean, and crush us at a blow?

Never!

All the armies of Europe, Asia and Africa combined
could not by force, take a drink from the Ohio, or make a track on the Blue Ridge, in a trial of a thousand years.

At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected?

I answer, if it ever reach us, it must spring up amongst us. It cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot, we ourselves must be its authors and finishers. As a nation of free men, we must live through all times, or die by suicide.

Let reverence for the law be breathed by every American mother, to the lisping babe that prattles on her lap. Let it be taught in the schools, in the seminaries, and in the colleges. Let it be written in primers, in spelling books and almanacs. Let it be preached from the pulpit, proclaimed in legislative halls, and enforced in courts of justice. And in short, let it become the political religion of the nation. And let the old and the young, the rich and the poor, the grave and the gay, of all sexes, and tongues and colors and conditions, sacrifice unceasingly at its altars.

And let us strive to deserve, as far as mortals may, the continued care of divine providence, trusting that, in future national emergencies, He will not fail to provide us the instruments of safety and security.

Neither let us be slandered from our duty by false accusations against us, nor frightened from it by the menaces of destruction to the Government nor of dungeons to ourselves.

Let us have faith that right makes might, and in that faith, let us, to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it.

Thinking about a Florida vacation? You might want to read this first.

The new Florida Shoot First law eliminates the duty to retreat and allows a person not engaged in unlawful activity who is attacked in a public place to "stand his or her ground" and use deadly force if "he or she reasonably believes it is necessary to do so to prevent death or great bodily harm to himself or herself or to another person or to prevent the commission of a forcible felony." Thus, even if the shooter could have safely avoided the threat by walking away or seeking refuge elsewhere, the Shoot First law permits him to shoot the assailant and gives him immunity from criminal prosecution and civil suit if he does so.

"I was pretty sure I was going to pass our and die from the heat while I stood in line for the Haunted Mansion, so I shot and killed everybody in front of me."

Thanks to Trevor for keeping us all informed and safe.

From our TAKE A DEEP BREATH files:

"I was at first aghast, then dumbfounded, then nearly furious that such a glaring error could have slipped past someone so knowledgeable about Disneyland and all things Disney..."

From the blog hussin in diseny world:

My best vacation i went untile know is when i went to america. I went with my famly and my friends it was on 17 jluy i went to diseny world. This is the first time i go a place out of egypt and the first time i go to america. When i was arrive i felt happy and inbersed of the nutter. i wented to the hotel i seeleped a littel bit then i taked the second aroplane to orlando when i arrived i found my friends waiting for me with there pearnts i went to the hotel i changed my close and then i went to bigger parek in the world it was diseny world dvided in 7 park the first parek called magica kindom it was so big i played halfe of the games. i went to all the parks sat in america about 17 days it was the best 17 days of my life i will not froget it for ever. This is my best vacation.

I'm charmed by this, but for the life of me, I can't make head nor tail out of the phrase "inbersed of the nutter."

Hey look, it's Star Tours, as if it were Powered by The Cheat!

Eisner finally skulks away.

Listen with glee as Mike Malloy successfully trolls Jason Campbell from the Christian Action Network on the topic of Gay Day at the Disney parks [mp3] [Real stream] [Real download]. HA!

Mike scores a ride theory bonus round for pointing out that the traffic jams caused by people leaving hurricane-ridden areas of the United States might be lessened by using not only the North-bound lanes to drive North but using the South-bound lanes to drive North as well. Currently the South-bound lanes are empty [mp3, 25+ MB].